Clinical studies of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy continue to gain momentum. The success rate for couples who apply to the therapy is quite high and has been proven to improve relationship satisfaction and intimacy. Emotionally Focused Couple
There are many factors that come into play when a couple experiences conflict, but in most cases these factors are related to communication and the ability of both partners to listen and communicate effectively. A couple who has had years of difficult relationships may have difficulty maintaining effective communication with each other. Some say that emotional intimacy is the key to a successful marriage, but it takes more than that to create a long term relationship. Sometimes a lack of intimacy can cause problems. A successful marriage requires a balance between building trust and caring about the other person’s feelings.
Bringing A Relationship
The first step towards healing and bringing a relationship back to a healthy state is to identify the problem and then try to figure out how to fix it. Two of the more popular theories in emotional-focused couples therapy are attachment theory and the attachment style. The attachment theory states that a person has to connect to a person in order to form a bond. People who adopt an attachment theory have very high self esteem and are highly attached to their families and their pets.
One of the largest studies of this type of therapy was conducted by the Wisconsin Medical Center and was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. The study involved 80 married and divorced couples that were having marital problems. After four weeks of attending this therapy they had significantly lower marital satisfaction scores than the controls. The findings of this meta-analysis of the study showed that there was a significant improvement in marital satisfaction for those that went through this form of therapy. Also, there was a much lower risk of divorce for these participants.
Therapy For Emotional Couples
Another form of emotional-focused couples therapy for couples suffering from distress is the attachment style. This form of therapy is similar to the attachment theory; it is when a person forms an intimate attachment to a therapist or to a spouse or partner in a long term relationship. An attachment therapist will teach a person to develop an emotional bond with their spouse or partner and to care for them in ways they may have not been able to care for themselves or their children. Also, with an attachment therapist there is a great possibility of resolving physical issues between the partners.
For people with a greater need for intimacy, a good therapist will teach them to learn how to create a secure connection with someone else. An emotionally focused couple therapy for couples with a secure connection will allow them to experience real closeness with another human being. One way to achieve a secure connection is through using video descriptions.
Creating Secure Connection
Video descriptions of how we feel, how we look, and what we are feeling can help us to create a secure connection with someone else. Another way to create a secure connection is through writing our feelings down, even if the feelings are difficult to verbalize. If the other person has the ability to hear our thoughts and words they can better understand us.
In some cases where the conflict at hand is very high level, couples therapy for couples may turn into a conflict game. In this case, one partner may be highly frustrated and angry and the other may not know how to handle their own feelings. As a result, they become combative or aggressive.
The use of an eft therapist can help the frustrated or angry partner to release their pent up negative energy and allow the calm, relaxed feeling to take over. EFT has been shown to effectively reduce stress levels and increase one’s sense of calmness.
Emotionally focused couples therapy can be used by anyone who feels stuck in a vicious cycle of arguing and fighting. It has worked brilliantly for me and my husband when my son was battling with his depression and I was becoming intensely irritated with him. We tried many things to bring him back down, such as talking to him about his favorite TV shows and his favorite movies, but nothing worked. After using EFT, he no longer suffered from severe depression and we never heard from him again. I felt like I had found a miracle cure to my son’s problems and I knew I had to get him into therapy using EFT as soon as possible.